My first blog words in months and of 2010

Oh shut up, Obama.

My thoughts on the Polanski case

Fuck him.

Rot in jail.

Health care

Take on the fundamental conflict, Barack. Come on.

Ok, have it your way. Go down in flames.

So what can a sane person think anymore

Like, evil and stupid are overrunning everything, metastasizing, faster and faster.

What the hell is gonna happen to us?

Too disgusted to even blog

Could any president possibly be more disastrous than GW Bush?

Yes.

Driving while texting

Is going to mow down a WHOLE lot of men and women and children, maybe even me, before it’s finally treated as the way-more-deadly-than-DWI menace it is.

I-podding while driving is just as bad. I went to some trouble and expense to have a front-in radio for my iPod. The first couple times I went perusing my playlists at the wheel, I almost ran off the road. Does NOT mix with driving at ALL. I made a rule –  I do not touch it, at all, ever, when the car is in motion. No exceptions. It scared me that much.

Cell phones generally – evil and stupid. Oppressive. I talk on mine, like, well never. Why do I even pay for the goddamn thing? When I’ve been stupid enough to pick it up when driving, couldn’t wait to get off it and the thing away from me. Fucking telephones now own people, they carry em around on their bodies all day and fucking think it’s coolness and freedom. Jesus.

/grandpa simpson

Hey Obama

THE FUCKING HOUSE IS REALLY, REALLY ON FIRE, LIKE FIFTY THOUSAND ALARMS NOW, FOR GODSAKE HELP US, DO ANYTHING, YOU GODDAMN WORTHLESS ZILLION-DOLLAR SMILE CELEBRITY PUSSY

American health care

Everybody please suffer a lot and die (preferably in a ditch) so a few assholes can have more money than they can ever spend on anything.

This country deserves the suicidal self-extinction it seemingly craves.

dang

i always thought the Sixties were the coolest thing to happen in my lifetime. wow did i never imagine the stupefying extent to which the backlash would need to go.

This joke isn’t funny anymore

So now Mark Sanford is off to Europe with his treasured wife and family.

South Carolina needs to remove this man from office. Yesterday. And strip him of all benefits.

Good farking gods, have some fucking pride, SC!

Likee 360 smiley

for such a curmudgeon, sometimes I’m pleased by really stupid stuff ..

Colbert in Iraq

Even you don’t belong in Iraq, Stephen.

Iraq is not your monkey.

No American should be in Iraq. Except to weep in shame, beg forgiveness, and work in indentured servitude for the rest of their lives to ameliorate what they can of the holocaust – yes holocaust – they allowed to happen there.

Get the fuck out of Iraq, Colbert. And take your writers and crew and entire American military and mercenaries and Abu Ghraib guards and cable television murder machine with you.

An observation

The whole point of untrammeled capitalism is to steal everything. Are we still not getting this?

K, let me make it clear, America. While you’re flipping between Dancing Stars and Fox News, Tim Geithner is dousing your living room rug with gasoline. You see, he’s taken your job and healthcare and pension, now he needs your life insurance and house insurance. It’s for American democracy and your freedom.

Then he’ll need your house pets, for the meat. Then your organs.

Btw please keep buying lots of cheap chinese crap with your nonexistent paycheck.

Srsly ..

.. I mean, how can Barack let Larry Summers make speeches about the economy?

I mean, if this isn’t like making Charles Manson your spokesman for law and order, what is?

Why isn’t this asshole Summers in fucking prison for the damage he’s done to so many million lives?

This man is a common thief. Thanks to him and his ilk, the idea of retirement is finished. The idea of any other human notion too.

How dare you give us this, Barack. It’s not only beyond shameful, it’s fucking ludicrous.

I’ll donate a cluster bomb

Former President George W. Bush is preparing for one final struggle against the odds: raising $300 million for a presidential library, museum and policy institute at a time when dollars are tight and skepticism about his presidency runs high.

The former president and first lady have already begun holding small private dinners to persuade wealthy friends to invest in a monument and incubator based on the values and events of his presidency.

Incubator? Like Bar Bush’s uterus hasn’t done enough fucking damage already? INCUBATOR?

Stop getting old now! Ask me how! Only $9.95! But wait – that’s not all!

It’s unbelievable the amount of ads and products they’re aiming at us boomer gals and our naturally aging faces. Somebody must be buying this shit, I guess?

I love the flash ads where they wipe some sad old babe’s wrinkles away. Wow – that could be me!

And I bet I could be back in that crap relationship 20 years ago too! …

A laff I came across

Wow

Looks like my boobs vid just passed 3,000 views!

I’m King of the World With Too Much Time On Its Hands!

Clearly it’s open war anymore

Bankstas vs. everything and everyone good in the world.

Banksta Thing vs. all life, survival, rational thought, you name it.

This IS a battle I’d drag even my 55-year-old ass to the nearest recruiting center for.

Why hasn’t my president raised the call?

Ilargi speak, you listen

There is a huge and concerted effort underway to not see what is happening.

…

All the attempts to save the already insolvent banks can only have one outcome: an insolvent country. Instead of liquidating and gutting the banks, something that should have been done years ago, the money-controlled political system opts to liquidate and gut the entire nation.

Go read an actual grownup …

Oh me of little faith

I like how Barry Blitt did an NYT cartoon just for moi!

That evil Hugo Chavez .. does more evil

Venezuelan Jewish Community “Profoundly Grateful and Moved” by Government’s Efforts

Another thing you’ll never, ever see in US media ..

Another memo to Michael Phelps

Didn’t you get my last one?

TELL THEM TO FUCK OFF, every last pearl-clutching pot prohibitionist on this fucking planet.

Do you realize what a wrench you could throw into this sick, ridiculous, prohibition industrial complex? As the most accomplished athlete in the world?

Do you really think you’d lose money? My god, multitudes would come to  your appearances and throw $100 bills at you.

Be a REAL HERO, goddammit! You have INCREDIBLE influence for what is FUCKING RIGHT. USE IT. CHANGE THE WORLD.

Sigh. Fuck.

Thanks Barry for making me feel even sicker than I did the last eight years.

Love them Summers and Geithner specially. Finally, people with the nation’s best interest at heart!

Amy Winehouse

I don’t care wtf is her latest bullshit, I just wish she’d make another fucking genius record.

Memo to Michael Phelps

Why not just tell the “Drug” War Pearl-Clutching Industrial Complex that it should FOAD?

That is, if you’d really like to be a national hero.

Make me take it back, Barack

K, let me make sure I understand this. The house has been burned down. We’re stunned and scared – jesus, no house!

You arrive to help us rebuild the house. Yay!

But the first order of business, you insist, is seeing to the comfort of the fucking Republican arsonists!

We’re supposed to assume there’s a good reason for this!

Wow

Conyers:

Change has come to Washington, and I hope Karl Rove is ready for it.

Baby!

Re Karla and karmic retribution, I will never not be hopey. Never. HOPE-E springeth eternal in my breast for this one. Always. How could anyone live and have it otherwise?

Well, New York has a senator

.. yawn ..

and yes Jane, Caroline rather utterly embarrassed herself

I knew my Nadler would be way too good to be true .. in fact I think the only two people who ever mentioned his name were me and him ..

lazy, preoccupied

.. and chillin the fuck out, cuz Barry got this!

anyway, Bart’s got some stellar stuff in the treehouse today ..

Sobering up

Just go read Ilargi.

Hahahahaha

They’re doing fun stuff with Aretha’s hat here

Definitely the site to watch …

Goodbye to the biggest fucking never-elected asshole in the history of our fucking planet

From Le Monde:

“It’s hard to find a historian who won’t say that Bush was the most catastrophic leader the U.S. has ever known. One success: since September 11, 2001, thre was no attack on U.S. soil. But this sits alongside an interminable list of failures, starting with the war in Iraq.”

God I’m so fucking sick of this bullshit line – he only allowed the most incredible, spectacular security failure in U.S. history – once!

Anyway, what a great day .. even Amy Goodman looks like she partied a little too much last night lol …

I always loved

.. the body language in this photograph.

My latest pre-inaugural Obama analysis

Things may get so completely, relentlessly, hopelessly fucked that Barry may actually have the opportunity to use his smarts and thoughtfulness. We’ll see.

It’s not like anybody knows a goddamn thing anymore. We’re running completely on fumes and lies.

Like my newest bumpersticker?

Step into my parallel universe Obama fantasy life ..

wherein he’s setting up the whole rotten pig status quo .. flattering, seducing, aw-shucksing .. methodically allaying all its tender fears of Scary Blackness, scary commie socialistic liberalness ..

the whole pussy act, the suffocatingly stale economic repuke-lite horseshit, the heartbreakingly baffling and insulting ass-kissing of monsters like Rick Warren ..

see, it’s a total setup, all of it .. he’s deliberately and carefully and painstakingly setting up the most colossal, spectacular jiujitsu coup de justice peace happiness nonfuckery thang ever seen  ..

yes, his actual plan really IS to skillfully ease our nation and the world off its path of feudalistic, toxified, terrorized hell .. and the plan is proceeding exactly as envisioned ..

thus contentedly sinking into the opium haze of a Colette type Paris flat, I smile and relax, into hope ..

The best man wins

Fuckin W00T at last! It even moved me to create my very own lolcat tribute!

Big congrats, Al. Yes you are, yes we do!

K, so now could you please go kick Harry Reid’s ass back to Quisling Gulch, Nevada .. then form a new caucus, the Anti-Pussyhood Caucus, and dare every Dem bastard not to join ..

K, that’ll do for the first day, hon .. LUV YA!

this n that

Minnesota Senate race. It appears Franken wins, by a fraction of a micron of a whisker. Yet in the New All Scorched Earth All The Time Republicanism, Franken’s win will be litigated, Ken Starr’d, belittled, ridiculed, all the usual. Harry Reid, Obama, all the national dems will remain noncommittal.

People are being murdered in the Gaza ghetto by the best high-tech death machinery American taxes can buy. It apparently hasn’t been enough to merely imprison and starve them.

The one fucking truly insane regime on this planet, and not only do we not stop it, we fund it, bow to it, ostracize any who criticize it.

Israel was born in victimhood and now lives for war. It is a unique cancer. It has wanted war with Iran forever. Even with their Cheney junta lapdogs, it hasn’t happened.

Oops, never mnd – it’s started.

If this pisses anybody off

too the fuck bad.

What’s a goat shack

without the occasional goat …

This is one of my former goats’ new pals in Nanjemoy, MD. I call him Walt because of his resemblance to Sir Walter Raleigh.

Those gay French

were doing the Tour Eiffel (“Tower of Surrender”) in a fabulous blue this October.

No, they weren’t in their Picasso-esque Blue Period … just giving a shout-out to the EU, as holder of its rotating presidency …

And now a word from Paulson, Bernanke & co.

Nazi Israel

Come on. Can’t we just call it what it is?

K then .. how bout just Warsaw Memorial Gaza Ghetto .. ?

Senator Nadler

K, I’m finally Hamshering just a tiny bit on Caroline. To put it kindly, she hasn’t impressed.

Compared to the proven smarts, articulateness, experience, and progressive kickasshood of a Jerry Nadler, what was I thinking.

I still like Caroline and think Hopey can and should put her to good use somewhere.

Really, xmas can blow me

I’m grown up now and can hate the whole fuckin thing if I want. Yay!

Stole Avedon’s cute tree.

Will no one rid me of this fat evangelical fuck?

Preoccupied as I’ve been with my flabbergasted speechlessness at the morphing of Friedman/Greenspanomics from merely donkey-blowing ruinousness to a rolling mass stickup so brazen and so vast it beggars all comprehension ..

It’s given me less time for flabbergasted speechlessness at Barack’s latest inexplicable wet kiss to fat fuck huckster celebrity homophobe preacher Rick Warren.

And god lobotomize me please, Melissa Etheridge today, with how her and Rick’s like total mutual starfuck crush signifies a new day for everybody.

Ok, look Melissa and Barack both, you fucking airheads, it’s fine to make nice, and understanding and dialogue are good, and blah blah blah, we fucking KNOW.

Which has what to do with giving a showboating, lying, homophobic weasel the opening voice in one of the most significant events in our history?

Jesus, I thought I’d never have to see this fuckwit again after that election pandering event .. who could have guessed he was just greasing up his Nouveau Billy Graham mojo .. but you, Barack? Of your own will, YOU drag this religio-knuckle-dragger to Washington and your historic stage?

What a fuckin shame. Didn’t want it to harsh my inaugural buzz, but it seriously has. Oh well. I hope feeding this man’s ego and his movement oxygen doesn’t come back to bite you, Barack.

Bad enough the complete gratuitousness of the slap to my face.

Worse that it’s like laughing at a friend who just got mugged.

But the worst is just – it’s a choice so fucking unworthy.

It’s – shallow.

Saw it on Towleroad

My last photograph at age 54

Now I am 55.

Why all at once, my heart took flight

When that man threw his shoes.

The man who threw his shoes

Has made my holidays happy

Makes me glad to think of

Is known in every household on the planet

Will be celebrated in song and story for generations

Showed every pussy journalist on the planet how to cover smug, soulless war criminals

Bitchslapped a naked emperor

Will be the namesake of my next child or cat

Committed an act whose full significance is yet to be felt

Is my hands-down Person of the Year

Is a hero of the world

Had just had it with assholes

“She wouldn’t get anywhere near that Senate seat, if her name wasn’t Kennedy!”

But it IS, Blanche!

Her name IS Kennedy!

Important things, goddammit

Biden’s new puppy

About 1000x the soul and gravitas of most in DC, non?  …

What Frank Rich said

One of his best columns evah.

What went down in the Land of Lincoln is just the reductio ad absurdum of an American era where both entitlement and corruption have been the calling cards of power. Blagojevich’s alleged crimes pale next to the larger scandals of Washington and Wall Street. Yet those who promoted and condoned the twin national catastrophes of reckless war in Iraq and reckless gambling in our markets have largely escaped the accountability that now seems to await the Chicago punk nabbed by the United States attorney, Patrick Fitzgerald.

More relentless truth per paragraph than I’ve seen in any MSM screed for a while.

And it’s about time somebody likened all these money bastards and their enablers to O. J. Fucking Simpson. That is exactly their moral fucking universe.

Death

of the American Way of Life.

Good.

The stupefying waste, insanity, mindlessness, ridiculousness, murderousness.

Good. Good. GOOD!

Sure I’m scared. GOOD!

Every day .. the fresh madness .. no i mean it, rilly

K, so today, new civil war .. christ, South rise again, neo-slave labor, fuck u Old Dead Union Murka, we work for Japan, we employed not like you, proud, no healthcare, beneff, fuck that socialist shit, ha ha, you old and finished, we new! We drink your milkshake! Die, North unhip people!

Jennifer Granholm. Jesus. GOD what a shame she’s straight and we never met.

Media clown posse, omg Obama simply must be Wack Blago’s rent boy, he must, he must, he must!!!

Your moment of zen

You’d think only watertiger would be sadistic enough to more widely inflict this image on hapless, unprepared eyes :

You’d be wrong.

Why I couldn’t agree less with Jane, Avedon, Kos, etc

The way these people have jumped all over poor Caroline Kennedy as an unentitled opportunist, you’d think she was Sarah Fucking Palin. Wtf?

“Haven’t we seen all the proof we need that political dynasties suck?” they sniff.

Oh I get it, she’s Chimpy Bush too – ? (And like, how can we hate Jeb! If we luv Caroline – Karl Rove would call us hypocrites!!)

Fuck that. She rocks. I defy anyone to be dealt her hand and make a more exemplary life of it. Why on earth would we reject out of hand the kind of stature and symbolism she’d bring to our side in the Senate? When there’s substance and real progressive bona fides too?

It seems to bug Jane that she didn’t go all Cindy Sheehan during the Bush nightmare. Well, it bugs me that we all didn’t. Alas.

Senator Schlossberg

I’m totally there.

Steve Sack, he 2 fonneh

Odds ‘n ends

The word is REIN, people. Take the REINS, REIN in. REIGN is what a queen does over her subjects. With how much this horse-control metaphor is being bandied, here’s my useful rule: when in doubt, lose the G.

Most annoying current lazyass blog-commenter non-expression: “I just threw up a little in my mouth.” Thanks, now tell me about the last time you hacked up phlegm or took a fucking dump.

How gay?

This gay.

I must say ..

Lately I give less and less of a rat’s ass about the entire human project – which at this point I give 20 years at best anyway.

Too many of us are simply mindless ravenous cruel monsters who can quite easily destroy everything, and do. I find myself identifying more and more with the exhausted earth itself, readying for a purge of this plague.

Art and music, yeah nice. Other than that, the nazi-zombie-lizard-depleted-uranium-boot-on-yr-neck-kill-anything-for-a-buck thingy wins.

WALL-E is out on dvd this week. The first ten minutes of this movie depict the title character going about his workday, going home, and going to bed. But it’s the most startlingly, profoundly, utterly honest ten fucking minutes of movie ever made.

The New Baby Jane Hudson ..

.. is Paul Lynde!

The thing about Lieberman

Is that he’s an insitutional litmus test for the whole change thing. He’s asshole-America vs. different-America, right there on the fence rail.

So far, fail on you and us, Barack.

I always loved this one too

Can you tell I’m going through my Photobucket albums?

Just because

I like this little guy.

Splain, Lucy …

Boy does Devilstower splain Credit Default Swaps in this post.

Simplify, simplify …

Really, I wish I could xerox shit like this and give it to everybody on the planet.

We really need to take back language itself from the hucksters and thieves.

K, back to earth

So here’s today’s sentence of the day:

In Bakersfield, California, a Mexican strawberry picker with an income of $14,000 and no English was lent every penny he needed to buy a house for $720,000.

From a most absorbing and stunning piece by Michael Lewis.

What I hope Barack (and we) are able to somehow do